We’re continuing to answer questions raised by students tonight during Refuge. A couple of students have asked questions about discerning God’s will, so tonight we’re going to talk about how to know God’s will.

A few things I plan to cover include:
1. God’s will concerning our ethic and morality are never ambiguous. His Word is very clear. Jesus’ teachings are very clear.

2. God’s will is never random. It aligns with his redemptive purposes for all of creation.

3. We shouldn’t let what we don’t know spoil what we can do. Use these times as opportunities to grow in faithfulness.

Given things things, we are going to discuss three principles that help us identify God’s will for our lives:
1. Scripture teaches that we are to glorify God with our entire lives. We are to seek first his kingdom. In other words, live according to his Word. Any attempt to discern what God wants from our lives must begin with our desire to please him. ( Peter 4:10-11; Colossians 3:16-17; Psalm 37:4)

2. Discover what you’re passionate about. Explore your talents. As you desire to glorify God, do what you’re passionate about, what you’re good at. (Ecclesiastes 11:9; Psalm 37:4; 1 Peter 4:10-11; 2 Corinthians 12:7; 2 Timothy 1:6-7)

3. You’ve got to go for it! Don’t sit back and keep waiting for a sign. Don’t keep watching. It’s good to take time to pray, seek counsel, but at some point you need to take action. Take a risk and live boldly. Make it a way of life. Live in such a way where it’s essential for you to trust in God (Ecclesiastes 11:1; Ephesians 2:8-10).

Song of Solomon
Session 3: The Art of Courtship
In session 3 Tommy Nelson talks about the difference between courting and dating.

According to Nelson, dating is simply when a boy and girl spend time together doing things getting to know one another. He says that in dating there are no expectations, no physical contact; it’s centered on an event, not the person; it shouldn’t be exclusive; there should be no pressure to escalate the relationship. The purpose of dating is to discover the type of person you’d like to marry. You’re observing and evaluating. Basically, youre spending time with a person to get to know that person and build a foundation.

Courting takes place when you are emotionally and spiritually ready to begin an exclusive relationship with someone after having dated a while. In courting, he argues that the boy should talk to the girl’s Dad. In this context he says appropriate physical touch is a good thing. In this stage of dating, a couple is learning more and more about one another. They should learn how to resolve differences; how to be honest with one another. They should recognize the passion in the relationship yet remain self-controlled.

One thing Pastor Nelson said that I found very insightful is that you should never have to apologize for ending a relationship. That’s part of being spiritually and emotionally mature.

Some questions to discuss with your teen:
1. What does a healthy dating relationship look like?
2. How do you know you’re ready to begin dating someone exclusively?

The teens have been given the chance to ask questions about God, Christianity, the Church, faith — basically anything they really want to know. Based on their questions we have begun exploring the topic of heaven and hell. Two weeks ago, we explored Scripture’s depictions of heaven. Tonight, we are going to explore Scripture’s depiction of hell. Below is an outline of things we will discuss including the Scripture references. Take time to look over these and discuss them with your children at home.

Words for hell - I will point these out as they are used in Scripture to help the students develop a broader understanding of the nuances of each word.
Sheol
Hades
Gehenna
Lake of fire

New Testament descriptions of hellHell is depicted in terms of fire and burning.
The term Gehenna is derived from the valley of Gehenna south of Jerusalem where trash was constantly burned day and night.
Scripture references include Matthew 10: 26-30; 13:41-42, 47-50; 25:41-46; Mark 9:42-48

The New Testament describes hell as a place of intense mourning and the gnashing of teeth.

The New Testament describes hell as separation from God and everlasting destruction. (2 Thess. 1:6-9)

The New Testament depicts hell as a place of complete darkness (Matthew 8:11-12; 22:13)

Jesus tells us that it’s better to be maimed than go to hell (Mk. 9:42-48)

Conclusion:Some of the passages above are debated in how they’re interpreted; however they all help us better understand hell as a reality prepared by God for judgment.

Some questions to discuss with your children:
1. Why do you think we don’t discuss the reality of hell?
2. How does a deepening understanding of the reality of hell impact you right now?
3. Why do you think Scripture, especially Jesus, mention hell?

Key thought from lesson 2:

“When you are starting a fire, you need to get the coals burning down deep, not just on the surface with lighter fluid. The coals in a relationship are godliness, respect, and character. These are what you can build a lifetime on.” - Tommy Nelson

Tommy Nelson made the following key points in session 2 of Song of Solomon about dating:
1. A date is a guy and a girl on a one-time event enjoying time together.
2. Because dating, especially in the lives of a teenager, is often a roadblock or distraction in one’s relationship with God one should not date until emotionally and spiritually ready.
3. We should treat one another with dignity and respect, elevating the self-esteem of one another.
4. We need to learn to exercise self-control over our sexual passions. For some, this may mean not dating.

Some questions/thoughts do discuss with your teen about dating:
1. How is God’s view of a dating relationship different from our culture’s view?
2. What is the purpose of dating? What is a healthy way to date? What is an unhealthy way to date?
3. When do you know you are emotionally and spiritually ready to date?

Major points from lesson 1 in our series on Song of Solomon:
1. One’s character is more important than one’s looks.
2. Begin developing a profile of the person you want to marrry and don’t compromise.
3. Become the person of character you would want to marry.

Guys’ memory verse: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverb 31:30

Girls’ memory verse: “What is desired in a man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar.” Proverb 19:22

Key Thought: “You need to become the person that the type of person you are looking for wants to marry. If I’m God, why should I give my precious child to you?”

Some Questions to consider with your teen:
1. What are some traits that are an absolute must in the person you will marry?
2. What are you going to do in order to remain committed to your standards of the type of person you will marry?